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[msmemory_archive]

So we found this house.... it's pretty, it's very large, it's in move-in shape (though it could stand a few fiddly things like water-seal on the deck, and we would need to make sure the house inspector isn't seeing things we're missing). The catch is, it's in Framingham.

jducoeur posted in his journal that we are dithering. Unfortunately, it seems that most of the comments seem to be non-supportive of our moving out there. Waaaah!

I readily admit, we would already have earnest money on this house if it were closer in. No question, if it were in Waltham, or Watertown, we'd be all over it. (Though in Waltham, I think it would be in the upper 7s or low 8s in price.) Would our friends really not come to Framingham? Don't they already not visit us, and if so, does it matter if they still don't? We want to entertain - will we be refused?

More dither.

Comments

[43duckies.livejournal.com]

For me personally, my decisions about whether to visit friends and attend parties has almost nothing to do with where they are located. The deciding factors are:

1) my physical condition, in terms of pain level and energy; this directly impacts the amount of public transit I can handle, which is comprised of four subfactors (number of transfers, number of staircases --and/or steep hills-- I will have to navigate, distance I will have to walk, and total time of the commute). As I lose weight, my energy level increases and my pain decreases, so I'm getting out more.

2) My emotional health and energy and mood. I am, by nature, an introvert. I usually have fun at parties, even if I'm not as good at chit-chat as many people are, but I almost always have to push myself out the door towards the big people-gathering, even if I'm in my best mood. I'm also easily discouraged from socializing due to doubts about my own social standing/ability/desirability in the general community. If I'm feeling great, that doesn't stop me, because I know the only way to get to know people better is to go see them. And if I'm stressed, depressed, or over-tired, I'm going to be much less likely to go, even if I'd really like to. This is also getting much better lately; as my physical energy level increases, I am more able to take care of things that are stressing me, thus freeing me to have more fun.

3) How much I have to carry. This has been one of the major factors in whether or not I attend events. It can also impact my likehood of attending, say, workshops where I need to bring a sewing machine, or potluck dinners where I need to bring food, etc.

4) Transportation access, which is connected to a) my physical health/energy (see #1), b) my emotional energy, especially social confidence (see #2; specifically, this relates to my comfort level asking for rides), and c) my current financial situation (in that if I am less strapped for cash, using a Zipcar or even taking a cab may be possible, and paying for the commuter rail is less of a problem. Lately I have been pretty strapped for cash).

My point is, if I had a car I would not be any less likely to go to a party at your house in Framingham that I would at your house in Waltham. Distance is not the issue, and as for the other issues, overcoming them (which I am striving to do) is not very much different if your house is a little further away.

Now, speaking as someone who is frequently something of a homebody, I think buying a house you love that is a little further away is more important that buying a house you are settling for that is closer in. But other people would probably have other priorities.