(no subject)

[msmemory_archive]

So we found this house.... it's pretty, it's very large, it's in move-in shape (though it could stand a few fiddly things like water-seal on the deck, and we would need to make sure the house inspector isn't seeing things we're missing). The catch is, it's in Framingham.

jducoeur posted in his journal that we are dithering. Unfortunately, it seems that most of the comments seem to be non-supportive of our moving out there. Waaaah!

I readily admit, we would already have earnest money on this house if it were closer in. No question, if it were in Waltham, or Watertown, we'd be all over it. (Though in Waltham, I think it would be in the upper 7s or low 8s in price.) Would our friends really not come to Framingham? Don't they already not visit us, and if so, does it matter if they still don't? We want to entertain - will we be refused?

More dither.

Comments

[cellio]

<AOL>Me too</AOL>

Well, not about the cats, but about the relationships-with-other-people part. :-)

[pamelina.livejournal.com]

I pay $65 every two weeks to have my illegal alien houscleaners clean my house. They've been cleaning for me for over a decade, and they do quite a good job, though they don't do laundry or inside appliances, except the microwave oven. I love having my house cleaned for me. I highly recommend it.

Have you put your own house on the market yet? You are planning to have it professionally cleaned before you do, right?

As far as visitors goes, I predict you'll get the same people you do now, plus more people, if you invite them. You will work out a 'standard method' of getting car-less people at the nearest/most convenient public transportation stop, and it'll seem all routine and easy in no time. In my case, I'll pick people up either at Alewife, or at the Concord station of the commuter rail.

[laurion]

Myself and asdr83 have recently moved out to Framingham as well (now that she attends school out in North Grafton, it only made sense), and not only can I say that it seems to be a rather nice town once you get away from Rte 9, but that it is definitely not too far for people to come by with a casual invitation. I can safely say that we'd be willing to. *grin*

[laurion]

Hey, you should get used to viiting people in Framingham anyhow.

*nudge*

I remember Grimfells :)

[dmnsqrl.livejournal.com]

That phrase would frequently come up when they had travelled to another group's event, were talking with someone, and asked "so, when will we be seeing you in Grimfells"

I was also definitely reminded about them when I first was reading these posts about the possible house choice :)

[msmemory.livejournal.com]

We not only want to have it professionally cleaned, we want to be not living there at the time. The rooms will look bigger (though some spots needing particular TLC will be more visible) if our clutter is not crowding every room.

I figure a couple hundred bucks to have someone wash the woodwork, steam clean the carpet, Windex the windows, and so forth, will be worth it in the selling price.

[umbran.livejournal.com]

Natick/Framingham have excellent movie theatres, not to mention Mall-Land.

Movies are only one example of an overall class - "we want to go out with our friends to do something". The distance may be a damper not only on people visiting them, but of them joining their friends for shorter or improptu events, and that should not be ignored.

[herooftheage.livejournal.com]

Hmm. If you were serious about renting now and buying later I'd seriously consider figuring out how the two of you could live here. While it looks impossible on the face of it, it could be done with A LOT of organization.

a) We have a pretty completely unused basement. I am pretty sure that could get turned into a video/audio/books library - it isn't damp at all. It has flooded once in the time I've been here - but everything up on shelves would be completely safe.

b) We have a garage with a lot of ill-used space in it. Heck, maybe someone else could keep the Carolingian Boat for a while.

c) Our porch area could be turned into much better usable space.

d) I already use Sue Hammond for a gardener and Davey Snyder for a personal assistant. Between the two of them, I think we could keep the house organized enough that everything would fit without assaulting us.

I admit it would take work, but it would be possible.

For the record, I'd come visit, wherever you end up. I think the only reason I haven't in the last few years is that you haven't asked.

[43duckies.livejournal.com]

For me personally, my decisions about whether to visit friends and attend parties has almost nothing to do with where they are located. The deciding factors are:

1) my physical condition, in terms of pain level and energy; this directly impacts the amount of public transit I can handle, which is comprised of four subfactors (number of transfers, number of staircases --and/or steep hills-- I will have to navigate, distance I will have to walk, and total time of the commute). As I lose weight, my energy level increases and my pain decreases, so I'm getting out more.

2) My emotional health and energy and mood. I am, by nature, an introvert. I usually have fun at parties, even if I'm not as good at chit-chat as many people are, but I almost always have to push myself out the door towards the big people-gathering, even if I'm in my best mood. I'm also easily discouraged from socializing due to doubts about my own social standing/ability/desirability in the general community. If I'm feeling great, that doesn't stop me, because I know the only way to get to know people better is to go see them. And if I'm stressed, depressed, or over-tired, I'm going to be much less likely to go, even if I'd really like to. This is also getting much better lately; as my physical energy level increases, I am more able to take care of things that are stressing me, thus freeing me to have more fun.

3) How much I have to carry. This has been one of the major factors in whether or not I attend events. It can also impact my likehood of attending, say, workshops where I need to bring a sewing machine, or potluck dinners where I need to bring food, etc.

4) Transportation access, which is connected to a) my physical health/energy (see #1), b) my emotional energy, especially social confidence (see #2; specifically, this relates to my comfort level asking for rides), and c) my current financial situation (in that if I am less strapped for cash, using a Zipcar or even taking a cab may be possible, and paying for the commuter rail is less of a problem. Lately I have been pretty strapped for cash).

My point is, if I had a car I would not be any less likely to go to a party at your house in Framingham that I would at your house in Waltham. Distance is not the issue, and as for the other issues, overcoming them (which I am striving to do) is not very much different if your house is a little further away.

Now, speaking as someone who is frequently something of a homebody, I think buying a house you love that is a little further away is more important that buying a house you are settling for that is closer in. But other people would probably have other priorities.

[jducoeur]

Ooooh, yeah. Ten zillion drawers to put things in, Jenn-Air range on the island, good counter space, a dozen outlets, generally large. And abutting the living room on the corner, so that parties can slop between the kitchen and living room without breaking into two separate parties.

The kitchen was actually what grabbed me first. (The infinitely large basement came much later...)

[cvirtue.livejournal.com]

My agent recommended a new coat of paint, even though the existing coat was in ok shape. He also strongly suggested brand-new berber-type carpets, but we didn't do that. Probably should have.

[chaiya.livejournal.com]

Framingham is far from the center of the barony, and the barony is the center of the social circle we share. I've never been in your Waltham house, but Framingham would be far more difficult for most of the folks we know to get to.

On a more positive outlook, moving to a place that's very T-accessible and in the center of things has increased the number and frequency of people coming to visit *me*. I highly enjoy living in Porter, even though I know it's not for everyone. Living near the T is very positive for hosting events and having people just drop by -- two friends dropped by on a whim this weekend, just because it was convenient.

I know my needs in a house are different from yours, but I am hopeful that our friendship will survive, no matter where you live. :)

[corwyn-ap.livejournal.com]

I found that moving to Hudson decreased the amount that people would visit me, and also the amount I would visit them. But people still came out for parties.

I am having a much harder time getting people to visit me now. Maine is beautiful in the fall guys... We get beautiful sunsets over the water (in fact we are getting one RIGHT NOW).

[jducoeur]

A good question, and really the heart of what we're mulling. The drops-in would probably suffer. OTOH, the drops-in are not, in practice, the heart of our social lives. And given that the house appears (pending inspection and all) to be nearly perfect in pretty much all other respects, that may well be a price we're willing to pay.

[jducoeur]

As msmemory says, this is intended to be a quasi-permanent purchase. If my ship comes in and I suddenly find myself with a million bucks from stock options we might change our minds, but the mindset is that this is our house at least until retirement. That's why the comfort level with the house itself is critical: we're going to be spending a long time there.

We're not going to wind up underwater. Suffice it to say, I have other financial means available to me, and I don't really expect to be financing more than half this house. The bubble burst is a concern for selling the old house (which we will want to do as quickly as possible to avoid getting stuck holding the bag), but a lesser consideration for the value of the new one.

And yes, we seriously considered the rental option. But the pain in the meantime is just too considerable. We're already suffering from a *lot* of excess stress caused by a living arrangement that doesn't really work for us; renting in the medium term is likely to only make that worse, especially given the currently obscene level that rents are at...

[jducoeur]

For the record, I'd come visit, wherever you end up. I think the only reason I haven't in the last few years is that you haven't asked.

Thanks. Having a house that we're not ashamed of should do a lot to change that situation...

[jducoeur]

Heh. Actually, one of the motives for moving is that we don't get along well with one pair of neighbors. The folks on one side are great (although it's true that we don't socialize with them particularly), but the other side have been a consistent thorn in our sides...

[corwyn-ap.livejournal.com]

Renting for more than a year and a half (or so) has tax implications. Check that out before deciding on renting.

A house that makes you happy is worth 10 that don't.

[asdr83.livejournal.com]

On a random positive Framingham note, there are at least 3 Brazillian bakeries within 3 miles of our place out here and while we have yet to get a chance to try them if they are anything like the bakeries I visited in Brazil then it is a MAJOR plus point.

[goldsquare.livejournal.com]

All good thoughts. Just for conversation: especially given the currently obscene level that rents are at...

Not so high. Figure the average rent per year, and compare to the mortgage rate for a home of comparable size. You end up with something like 15-20 years before break even... So, if you rented (and waited for the balloon to pop, presuming it does) - there is a very good chance that houses would lose MORE in that year or two in purchase cost than you would spend on rent.

In theory. Maybe. But it doesn't apply. Rents are high in comparison to the rest of the world. But not so high compared to housing prices.

[msmemory.livejournal.com]

I hope so too. :) I presently see people after work, without going home, and that's likely to continue - regardless of where we end up living.

And if you ever need a place to run off to for the afternoon and just stare off into space and watch the chipmunks....

[dauphin1974.livejournal.com]

Nothing wrong with Framingham. If the location works for you, your friends will adjust. A house that you love is a wonderful thing to have, hold, and share. I am sure that the drive will be longer for both of you, though, for everything (or am I missing something?).

[chaiya.livejournal.com]

... but that presumes that you continue to work within reach, and that's not an assumption I'm willing to make. I know you'd like to change jobs, and I assume you'd prefer to have a small commute and not a large one. It would make sense to look more for jobs near Framingham than Somerville if you're moving to Framingham and not Somerville.

Chipmunks aren't much of a draw. Trees, however, can be. :)

[hfcougar.livejournal.com]

We want to entertain - will we be refused?

I think that for planned ahead events, things people can pre-arrange rides for and mark on the calendar, it is unlikely that friends would refuse you. Many people in my experience will travel further, or otherwise go out of their way, for a friend's occasion. Getting more casual acquaintances and brand new people to come will be more challenging, but the planning ahead factor can sometimes overcome this.

For last-minute, impromptu events? Yes, you may be refused. You may encounter people who very much would like to go, but simply cannot. But you will probably find that many people will at least try.

Specifically regarding post-revels, however, there is one thing which has nothing to do with house buying. I wasn't sure whether or not to bring it up, but no one else has.

My perception since I moved here is that Wadsworth House is The Post-Revel Place. It's practically a given at this point (unless the event, say, ends at 9pm on a Sunday night or something). Maybe that is just my perception; I have only been here two years. For all I know this is a recent development.

I think creating a paradigm shift towards having your new house be The Post-Revel Place is going to be difficult, and living in Framingham is sadly not going to help, especially for borough people and the otherwise non-car-enabled. And I know if both you guys and Wadsworth were having a post-revel after the same event, I'd be facing a pretty tough decision. I don't know if any others would find it a tough choice. I'd also really hate to see any social division occur into "the people that go to WH" and "the people that go to Caitlin and Justin's".

[hfcougar.livejournal.com]

I'm telling galaneia.