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[msmemory_archive]

I don't always judge a book by its cover, but I do often judge by its blurb. This one has made me decide not to buy this forthcoming novel.

Harald: A simple family man, a teller of tales, who happens to be the most powerful general of his people, home of the cataphracts, much feared warriors. Some, like the young king of the neighboring kingdom, James of Kaerlia, might underestimate him because he doesn't bother bedeck himself in the court garb to which he was entitled. No one underestimates Harald twice. A hundred years earlier another young king, dreaming of brave deeds and rich plunder east of the mountains, brought a force from the Kingdom to take the Vales. An army three thousand strong tried to force the pass at Raven Stream. A thousand men of the Vales and their allies the Westkin held them. After three days the King?s men gave up and went home. It wasn't water the ravens drank. Four times in the past twenty years the Empire has invaded Kaerlia?s land, seeking to bring it under their rule. Four times were they sent home with their tails between their legs. Now the Empire is sending its best legions again to the north. Only by a return to the grand alliance of Kingdom, Vales & Ladies of the Order can they hope to withstand the disciplined and blooded invading army. But young James has picked a fight with the Order, picked a fight with Harald himself. Young men are not always wise, nor fond of peace. The new king wants war again. And again, the ravens will drink.

Maybe it's me, but I think this is barely coherent, and I can't imagine spending several hours of my life slogging through prose like this. No offense to the author, whom I hold in high esteem normally (here's hoping he didn't write this blurb himself). I think the problem is that text like this is well-suited to oral transmission. If you read this aloud, it has a cadence and rhythm, and the repetitive style is appropriate for a storyteller. Not so much for a novel.

(And a "tsk" to Amazon for not fixing those apostrophes which turned into question marks.)

Comments

[herooftheage.livejournal.com]

Aelfwyne really liked an early version of the book, and I couldn't make it through an entire chapter

0ir you like stories where the ideas are compelling, but the writing is not as strong, then it would be a worthwhile read. I'll no doubt give it a second try eventually, simply from David's talking about some of the ideas.

[nazrynn.livejournal.com]

Something about that first sentence being a bit run-on turned me off too. I can see what the author is trying to get at, but it really does seem very broken and without flow when put into writing.

[oakleaf-mirror.livejournal.com]

Something about that first sentence being a bit run-on turned me off too.

The lack of a verb in all those words was a bit off-putting, as well.

[nazrynn.livejournal.com]

It was like reading William Shatner dialogue?

[green-knight.livejournal.com]

An authentic insight into the text, though.

[hrj.livejournal.com]

here's hoping he didn't write this blurb himself)

Um, well, I believe he did. There was a thread about it in rec.arts.sf.composition where he was saying, "Ack, they're making my write my own cover blurb -- can I get some help?"

Ordinarily I make a go at reading the things that people I know have written (perhaps in a vain hope that they will do the same for mine), but I got really turned off at the way he popped into the rasfc newsgroup with a campaign to push his (then in submission) manuscript as much and as often as possible in the hopes of catching the attention of a publisher (who have been known to hang out on rasfc). I guess it worked as a strategy to get published, but it rather soured the previously good opinion I'd had of him. (The pushing, along with other behavior on that newsgroup.)

[herooftheage.livejournal.com]

Actually, David is always like that with his ideas - it is politely called the University of Chicago school of arguing. David is many wonderful things, but his socialization is definitely on the nerdish pushy side.

As it turns out, I think he got the attention of the publisher at Noreascon, and he (I think correctly) concluded that his name carried some cachet.

[corwyn-ap.livejournal.com]

Harald: A simple family man, a teller of tales, who happens to be the most powerful general of his people, home of the cataphracts, much feared warriors.

I have to agree.

1) I don't think of generals as 'powerful', rather as brilliant, inspiring, etc. What is powerful about a general?

2) 'Harald:' causes me to expect that the sentence will be about Harald, and it is for the first half, but wanders off. Never to return.

3) 'home of the cataphracts' what is this cause doing here? Why is it in the sentence at all? What exactly is the 'home', are we to expect that the catphracts live inside Harald? Are we supposed to know what cataphracts are?

Any of these I would think better:
"general of his people, the cataphracts, much feared warriors."
"general of his land, home of the cataphracts, much feared warriors."
"general of his people, much feared warriors."

Anyone else thoroughly confused about the politics? I get that Harald's land keeps getting invaded by the neighboring Kingdom, and it looks to happen again. But also the Empire is planning on invading the Kingdom, looks they will have their hands full and won't invade afterall. Nope re-reading I see I'm wrong. 100 years ago the kingdom invaded Harald's land and got crushed. Every 5 years, recently, the empire has invaded the kingdom, and been repulsed. Still looks like Harald is ok. It is not clear where he got his experience though, as his land doesn't have mention of being invaded in 100 years. And one would think the kingdom would have generals since they have been successful in wars every five years for the past twenty.

Oh well.

[goldsquare.livejournal.com]

I couldn't get through the blurb. I was all set to be generous about it, since most book's "blurbs" are written by the publisher (sometimes containing HUGE spoilers). But then I read the comment below.

Sigh.

[cvirtue.livejournal.com]

Wow.

Maybe it's because your note and quote is coming on the heels of the excerpt I posted from the MST3K version of Eye of Argon, but it sounds like it should be amended to EoA!

I think you have made a good choice not to buy.

Although, (on third thought) if you have any plans to go to a drinking party with a bunch of similarly-literate people as yourself, it might be a fun thing to be read out loud by the participants, a drink or two into the evening.

[green-knight.livejournal.com]

I had not seen the blurb. (rasfc'er wandering through livejournals here, I'm familiar with the novel and its story)

I'll echo a sentiment brooksmoses made at the time: the fact that this novel, with its non-magical fantastic setting and its very sparse (not to say verbless) prose *is publishable* can only be a good thing for the genre, whatever we as individuals might think of it. It preserves a certain depth of the genre, and that must be good.

But my, what a turnoff that blurb has turned out to be.