College reunion

[msmemory_archive]

My 25th college reunion is this year, and as ever I don't feel I measure up to my classmates. You should see the beautiful polished (probably retouched!) photo of our class president with her careful makeup and executive hair on the website with the advance publicity for the reunion. I expect there will be much angst in this journal over the next four months.

Comments

[artisticphoenix.livejournal.com]

Depends upon your measurement of success really. Some measure it in how far they have gone up the corporate ladder, some measure in how many children they have, some measure by how happy they are. My favorite thought of course is that no one ends up where they intended.

I certainly have angst about reunions also. I haven't gone to one since my 10th, I think. I'm coming up on my 30th high school and I am quite comfounded how I feel about it.

[msmemory.livejournal.com]

I like that thought. And I'm going to go, even though I don't have children, mega-bucks, or a Cabinet position!

[jenwrites.livejournal.com]

Ugh. I totally understand. I didn't go to my 20th high school reunion for many of the same reasons.

[msmemory.livejournal.com]

One year I skipped reunion because I couldn't face telling people I was unemployed.

I don't think I will ever go to one of my high school reunions. With the exception of a couple girls from my clique, I'm not sorry I'm not in touch with people from home.

[jenwrites.livejournal.com]

I ended up getting together with the folks who I used to hang around with the day after the reunion, and that was enough.

[silme.livejournal.com]

I went to a very large university; we didn't have a class president, thankfully. The closest were the tri-executives of the student union, but they could be from any class or even grad students.

My 25th college reunion was last year and I missed it because I couldn't afford the flights to the US in the summer. But I wouldn't have gone there simply for the reunion; I would have gone there to visit friends and the city. (I went to the University of Colorado at Boulder.) My 30th high-school reunion is this autumn. Yes, my high school holds its reunions in early November, so even when I was in Colorado it was inconvenient (my high school is by Philly, and I stayed in Colorado after graduation until I moved to England) for me as a teacher. I've only made one reunion -- and that was for the 25th anniversary of the International Thespian Society at my high school and the retirement of the teacher who brought it there. That reunion was in May, on a weekend, and people from all 25 years were invited. I was still in Colorado, so I took a personal day and flew to Philly for it, figuring I'd see friends from other years as well. And I did, unlike the class reunion where it's just one year -- and a bunch of people I didn't know. (My graduating class was just under 800!)

I won't be making my 30th high-school reunion in November. I can't afford to take leave without pay to fly to the US. (We get lots of sick time, but we don't really have personal leave.)

[calygrey.livejournal.com]

You are very beautiful when you smile. Dress to please yourself, feign great confidence, smile like you own the world, and people will pretty much believe you do.

[hfcougar.livejournal.com]

Interesting. My 10th college reunion is this year and while I care a great deal about what my friends think, it hasn't really even occurred to me to care about my other classmates at all, let alone what they think.

I couldn't care less what my friends think about my job. I don't think they care about my job either. Undoubtedly, some are far better off, and some will be envious that I have a job at all, especially one that doesn't make me work weekends.

I care BIG TIME about the fact that I'm still single and nowhere near marriage, commitment, cohabitation, or kids. At least enough of my friends are or have been poly that I can say "I was with a married man for three years, but it didn't work out" and they will all smile and nod sympathetically.

And weight loss. Don't even get me started.

I may just be reaping the benefits of going to a hippie college where my friends were all freaks. If they saw a photo of me looking like that, they'd probably wonder why the hell I had makeup on. Working for "the greater good" at a small non-profit is sexy. And they will probably be more impressed with my SCA accomplishments than anything else I've done.

[msmemory.livejournal.com]

My former roommate works for AT&T Research and raises heirloom breeds of sheep. She's one of the people I'd particularly like to sit around with over a whole lot of tea (or wine) til all hours at reunion.

[hfcougar.livejournal.com]

It's probably a sign of my freakiness that of those two items, despite my proclivities for research, the sheep is what leapt out at me as most immediately fascinating. :)

[msmemory.livejournal.com]

I'll probably discover that half my friends have been buying wool from her for years, or something.

[galaneia.livejournal.com]

You aren't the only one. My brain went AT&T...hey, sheep! It took me the second reading to notice the word research. :-P

[blaecstan.livejournal.com]

My 25th college reunion is coming up soon this year and I am also having second thoughts about attending. I'm employed but I just don't want to see what ass-holes my classmates have become.

[metahacker.livejournal.com]

Of course reunions are "supposed" to be about reconnecting, but it does feel nice to compete, sometimes -- though honestly, it hardly seems fair to your competition.

You have a wonderful home, a wonderful husband, a requisite number of cats, two or possibly three communities that treasure your contributions tremendously...and you're worried about someone who feels she has to print her photo in the invite?

[redsquirrel.livejournal.com]

*laughs* Hey, my first thought reading this was "Yeah, but you've got Justin/Mark - I think you win!"

Seriously, love and happiness are the greatest success. You can never tell what anguish lies behind the seemingly fabulous looks and great accomplishments of others. And anyway, you didn't do those things because, basically, you didn't want to - you had other priorities. Like, oh I dunno, being happy with someone you love and who loves you.

*gets off soapbox looking a bit sheepish* Sorry about the preaching. I just get very tired of our culture's constant push to make fabulous, intelligent, creative women feel that they are somehow less that what they are or "should" be because it programs them to judge themselves by some arbitrary, external criteria. I'm working very hard - and succeeding pretty well - on learning to be happy with exactly who and what I am, no apologies, so your worrying pushed a few buttons.

I guess it hits everyone differently but, while it was a direction I was heading in before my diagnosis, after surviving breast cancer, I now feel that being alive and doing what I damn well please makes me a major success and what anybody else has chosen to do with their life is irrelevant to mine. Want to join me? I have to tell you, it feels pretty good. :-)

(And it makes it really fun to talk to all those other people who have done different things, because without that annoying inner monologue comparing yourself to them distracting you, you can really enjoy their stories.)

(Edited for spelling typos, even though I did proofread it, dagnabbit.)

[cvirtue.livejournal.com]

I fight with the same thoughts.

[ladymacgregor.livejournal.com]

I went to my 10th year high school reunion, and it was certainly interesting to see where people were trending (jobs, children, etc.). One of the things I remember most was seeing one of The Beautiful Girls there. She was one of the Top Clique in high school - stunningly beautiful, always well-dressed, popular, and bitchy as all hell. (I disliked her intensely for that. Not for the beautiful part - there was actually another girl who *I* thought was even more beautiful, and SHE was very nice. I always admired her.)

Anyway. This woman showed up at the 10th year reunion, and she was even better looking. Expensive fashionable clothes, huge diamond on the finger, perfect hairdo and makeup; owned her own printing business, she said. And she got absolutely falling-down drunk at the reunion and had to be practically carried home by her date (husband? I assume - I wasn't introduced). So there were undoubtedly undercurrents there, and despite the outward facade, I suspect I'm actually happier than she is.

No, you're not Albright or Rodham--I mean Clinton. But I suspect you're happier - and more relaxed - than either of them. You aren't alcoholic, or have drug-addicted kids, or autistic kids (one of the people at my office - you wouldn't BELIEVE the stress he goes through); you haven't gone through a brain-damaging car accident (another high-school acquaintance). You are a highly-respected member of several communities. And I think that if you WANTED to be the president of a huge corporation, you would have been. It's just too much stress and work, and you - like me - chose a healthier lifestyle.

And regarding The Thinner People - when they get to my age, if they're "as thin as they were in high school," in my opinion, they stop looking "slender" and begin looking "starved." I'd much rather be comfortable and enjoy a cookie now and then, rather than having that aggressively thin look that some of The Executive Women have. (Check out Madonna for an example of this.)