OOP Space

[msmemory_archive]

If you have been following the thread through various of my friends' journals
http://new-man.livejournal.com/158518.html
http://jdulac.livejournal.com/64056.html
http://jducoeur.livejournal.com/312188.html
http://siderea.livejournal.com/477988.html
discussing the supposed rise of out-of-period conversation at events, and what might be done about it, this is a tangent along those lines.

Some of us have, especially in the last year or two, lamented the "death of the postrevel." My speculation is that these two things are related. The people I attend SCA events to see are my friends. I care very much about what's going on in their lives, their health, their jobs and kids and houses and such. So when I see someone at an event, I am likely to say "How's the new house?" or "I hear you had rotator cuff surgery last month." Yes, it's out of period and I know it. But I'm not necessarily just making chatty conversation, I care about the answers, and don't want to resort just to LJ or email for catching up.

With the decreasing freqency of postrevels, and other open parties, there are fewer opportunities for this sort of conversation between friends. If I knew I were going to see so-and-so later and could postpone the Linux conversation, I'd be more inclined to. As is, I take the opportunity when I see them to find out how they're getting along, and to share how I'm doing. For people I see elsewhere, at barbecues or picnics or New Year's Eve parties or SF conventions, or postrevels, I can bide my time while still keeping up the friendships.

This isn't about deflecting the blame, saying I'm not responsible for my behavior at SCA events. I am responsible for what I say and where I say it. But I do suggest that if we socialized more with one another, we could keep up the level of friendly contact AND still implement period-neutral times at SCA functions. For me the friendships are more important than the SCA atmosphere - but that's only if I have to choose. And I'd rather not choose: I want to have my Digby cakes and my chocolate cake, both.

Comments

[baronessmartha.livejournal.com]

I think there is a way to get both.
I know the symbol His Grace Cariodoc uses for Enchanted ground. If we designate a few areas at events as enchanted ground the folks who want to stay period neutral can do that in a place where other folks will not (hopefully) make blatantly non-period conversation. It also means I will not make an error and offend a friend and have no idea what has happened, but if I feel ready to try period or period neutral small talk I can try it but then step out of that space. There is a place for all of us and I think we can all make ourselves happy without making each other unhappy.

Just an idea.

[baronessmartha.livejournal.com]

I read the other conversations. There are people who have clearly given this much more thought than I. wow.
I need to think about this much more.

[liamstliam.livejournal.com]

That's a very cogent connection, Caitlin.

Makes a lot of sense.

I, too, struggle with the post-revel thing.

I really enjoyed the one that new_man hosted recently.

Part of it is cultural, I think. I don't think some of our newer members really know about the concept of post-revels, and I think perhaps they do not come for that reason.

I have more thoughts, but my head is muddled.

Thank you for the index of the discussion. Why am I not surprised you were the one to do it. ;)

[laurion]

This strikes me as an astute perception. How do we approach it, attack it, rectify it?

[citrine-moon.livejournal.com]

Wow. You've given me a lot to think about.

Out of curiosity, does Carolingia have any events anymore along the lines of "Le Poulet Gouche"? Those events were very neat, and I wonder if having more events like that would help.

And, on a tangent, but along the same lines, I was somewhat embarrassed by the chair I was sitting in during the finals next to the Queen. I think I need to make better arrangements for the future if he is going to keep fighting, and fighting the way he did yesterday.

[jducoeur]

Out of curiosity, does Carolingia have any events anymore along the lines of "Le Poulet Gouche"? Those events were very neat, and I wonder if having more events like that would help.

They're rare, because they're a *lot* of work. Off the top of my head, I'd guess that we do maybe one event of that general caliber every few years. The thing about LePG was that, since it was a *series* of events, with a common theme, staff, concept and research, we could amortize some of the work -- the amount of effort required per event wasn't quite as high. (But it was still quite high.)

Honestly, I don't think they help the issue in question. Quite the contrary: events like that, where it's *really* inappropriate to have OOP talk, just increase the pressure to do it at other times...

[a-c-fiorucci.livejournal.com]

Another part may be the lack of space (or perhaps divisible space) at events. At least in my limited experience there's main hall and . . . maybe hallway, or bathroom, or parking lot. So even if you try to take a conversation out of "game space", for lack of a better term, there's not too many places to go.